Interview with Lorrae: Founder of Slutty Girl Problems
Can you tell us who you are,and what you do?
[dropcap]I[/dropcap] am the founder of Slutty Girl Girl Problems and an advocate for sex-positivity and education. I believe that everyone deserves to have an empowered sex life, and it’s my passion to help women get there.
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What inspired you to start Slutty Girl Problems?
I started the Twitter account when I was in college, as a way to anonymously talk about my experiences as a single, sexually free female. There’s a lot of stigma that comes with being sexually empowered, and I felt like I didn’t really have an outlet to talk about it. Plus, I felt like all the negative labels that come with being “promiscuous" were so inaccurate. I was living proof that you could be sexually experienced and still be classy, healthy, self-aware, full of self-esteem and self-confidence — all at the same time. So, I started talking about my experiences on Twitter.
Soon, tons of other women started following me and were writing me that my Twitter helped them feel empowered, more comfortable with their sexuality, and less ashamed about their choices. Slutty Girl Problems was re-framing the word “slut” as a confident, empowering term. Once we hit a quarter of a million followers, I knew I wanted to start a website so we could reach women in a new way and offer more value and resources. I wanted to create a sex-positive space for women full of funny columns, educated advice, and detailed guides far beyond what I could share on Twitter. [divider type="dotted" spacing="10"]
Can you also tell us how feminism plays a role in your day to day? Does your blog have a feminist lens?
The best part about running Slutty Girl Problems is knowing that I get to make a positive impact on other women’s lives.
Aside from reclaiming "slut" as a positive, empowering term — our mission is to entertain, educate, and empower women to feel confident, take control, and discuss their sex lives openly. Essentially, we are a community of sex-positive women dedicated to helping and supporting one another. It’s a judgement-free zone where you can connect, share, ask questions, and get the kind of sex education that's not taught in schools. There's a huge gap in our sex education and discussion. SGP fills that gap. We talk about sex health, sex tips, and how to handle all those awkward things that happen in our modern hook up culture — whether it's one night stands, booty calls, or other types of relationships. We also cover tough topics like slut shaming, sexual assault, domestic violence, body image issues, and provide resources to learn more and get help. Ultimately, we hope to change the conversation around sexuality and share different women’s experiences, because the more we can all openly talk about sex, the more educated and empowered we can all become.[divider type="dotted" spacing="10"]
What's the hardest, and most fun part about running your blog?
The best part about running Slutty Girl Problems is knowing that I get to make a positive impact on other women’s lives. When I get an email, comment, or tweet that says how much the site has helped someone — whether it’s through a sex tip, relationship advice, or tips for owning their sexuality — it lights up my heart and really keeps me going. It's my personal passion to help other women and empower their sex lives, and every day that I get to do that is inspiring, fulfilling, and a dream come true.
The hardest part of running SGP is overcoming slut-shaming, and frankly slut-hate, on a mass scale. I felt slut-shaming when my sex life was private, but the backlash from talking about sexual empowerment so publicly can be hard; it goes beyond Internet trolls. Some people are so uncomfortable or angered by sexuality that they go out of their way to threaten me, share my personal information, or write my family to “expose me.” In regards to my family, I am an open book and everyone in my life supports me. The threats are scary, but in a way, it re-affirms the importance of what I’m doing. Slut shaming is a huge problem, and its effects aren’t just psychological —it can be dangerous. I want to eliminate it. As long as there are slut-shamers, I’ll be spreading my message. We should be able to live in a world where our sexual choices don’t set us up to be a target of abuse. I deeply believe that our voices can make a change.
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What advice do you have for women who might be interested in starting a blog or sex-positive movement?
Starting SGP had been instrumental to my own development as a feminist, sexual being, and person in general. It is my passion, brings my life meaning, and I can’t imagine a life without having pursued it. So, I would absolutely encourage anyone who feels that adult work is their calling to go for it but to keep the risks in mind. Is it your passion? Are you okay with sharing it with your friends and family? Do you see yourself in the adult industry for your future career? Working in the adult industry can have an impact on your personal and professional life, depending on what your relationships and long-term aspirations are. Educate yourself about the industry and ask yourself some deep soul-searching questions. Even the toughest, most confident person can have insecurities creep in every once in a while, and it's better to have answered those questions confidently in advance rather than in the midst of a 3 a.m. existential crisis.
In particular, think about if sharing your work in your personal life is something you're comfortable with. Staying “anonymous” is near impossible online, and it can be unfulfilling. Subconsciously, anonymity feeds the idea that what we’re doing is shameful. If we have to hide — if we can’t share our passions with the people we love, and be open about who we are — can we really be fully confident about ourselves and our work? Personally, I couldn’t live that way. My “coming out" to my friends and family was challenging, but incredibly rewarding, because now I am always able to be true and unashamed about who I am. There is still a public stigma around sexuality, but if your work if personally fulfilling every day, that’s the best thing you can ask for! [divider type="dotted" spacing="10"]
Any plugs or info we should know about?
We’re launching a YouTube channel this year with a focus on empowering your sex life. You can subscribe in advance at: http://www.youtube.com/lorraeb. I’m also launching a personal site this year with more content — plus coaching, workshops, and speaking at events. Bookmark www.lorraeb.com!
[well]Til then, visit www.sluttygirlproblems.com and sign up for our e-mail list. You’ll get our most popular posts each week, plus exclusive updates we only share via email!