#NotMyGhostbusters Is Right
By Kent M. Wilhelm
[dropcap background="no" color="#333333"]I[/dropcap]’m not one for declarations of belief on social media. I choose to reserve those for face-to-face discourse over cost prohibitive whisky or diet prohibitive disco fries. I believe that matters of passion and conviction should be honored with the intimacy and minimal decorum of an in person conversation. However I don’t take issue when other people choose to share such fervid sentiment over social media. They have every right to do so and while it may annoy me at times, it’s certainly their choice.
While there are terrible and derisive events that have happened for all of recorded (and pre-recorded) history it certainly seems like we are overwhelmed by them at this point in 2016. Side-choosing and finger-pointing is out in full force. I consider myself a strongly opinionated person and while my mouth has been more than familiar with the tinny taste that comes as a result of incisors on tastebuds, I’ve largely been able to stay out of the nested replies of vitriol and shit-talking. That is until now.[divider type="short" spacing="10"]
To be honest I don’t know why I chose this of all topics. There are most certainly topics that have heavier consequences than this that are being ripped to shreds. But I chose this one. Possibly because to me it has a clear answer. The fact that it has an answer at all says something. One could say “sure, it’s an answer to me because it’s my opinion”. One could also say by addressing this and not any of the other horrible things that are going on that I am being a coward. And do you know what? One wouldn’t be wrong. But when I saw this photo of Kristen Wiig greeting these young ladies at the premiere of her new film everything immediately became clear to me concerning this topic and I just couldn’t hold back.
This following is derived from a Facebook post of mine from July 13, 2016. I decided to clean it up and properly address the broken masses wearing black and kneeling in front of their Ray Parker Jr. prayer candles.
[divider type="dashed" spacing="10"]
Dear Shattered Soul,
First of all, let me say how cool I think it is that you’re such a big Ghostbusters fan. Like, really cool. The minute I saw #notmyghostbusters I was immediately transported back to my school cafeteria, looking at the cool kids table thinking “boy, those guys are great”.
I would then like to say that I suppose that in a way you’re right, it’s not your Ghostbusters; it’s her’s and all of the other hers out there. Let me now express my deepest regrets to you that this little girl so selfishly absconded with your beloved jumpsuited crusaders; but perhaps it’s now time for her to run around with a vacuum cleaner strapped to her back and battle specters and ghouls. Maybe she’ll even trap the limp apparition of your deceased and disgraced formative years.
This is no doubt a dark day that will forever besmirch the tomes of popular culture but I believe that given your strong and no doubt carefully considered opinion on a matter such as this, not to mention how cool you are, you’ll be able to find solace in some other dust-covered property that will remain yours and not anyone else’s ever in a million-billion years.
For now, stand tall and proud on your soapbox of grade school righteousness and extend your long, stinky middle finger to this movie and those who enjoy it, like this little girl. It’s very cool of you.
Kent M. Wilhelm
P.S. I’m well aware that the excessive snark of this piece is obnoxious but frankly so is your proton pack pity party. Your sniveling is putting Walter Peck to shame. You saying your childhood is ruined is ruining my present. Luckily both of those things are equally as insignificant.