My Mother's Suffering In Her Marriage


motherFeminist Wednesday is so excited to be partnering with Women in Leadership Uganda’s Teen Voices Programme, which encourages teens to write their stories. Stay tuned for more!

As a warning: The below essay deals with domestic abuse. Please take care in reading ahead if this is a subject you’re sensitive to.

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[dropcap background="no" color="#333333"]M[/dropcap]y mother is a beautiful woman who is aged 46 years old. Her job was that of a hairdresser in Mbarara. She had many customers who came to her salon, and she was earning enough money, and not spending it on vices. She used the money in paying for our school fees, and a half of the money went towards the school fees of my brother, Muwanga Faluka. My dad’s job was a tortilla maker, he used to give us tortillas and we were happy everyday.

Conflicts came into our happy family, between my mum and dad, about my brother’s behaviour. Mum gave my brother money for school fees, he was in Senior Six at King of Kings, to go and study, but instead of Faluka going to school, he used the money on entertainment, such as drinking and eating, as well as on the computer.

Dad realised that Faluka was practicing bad behaviours after having seen him do it. Dad went home to tell Mum what happened, but, after telling her, she told him that it is not true and my Dad was not happy that Mum refused to believe it was true. And so, conflicts increased in our family.[divider type="short" spacing="10"]

[dropcap background="no" color="#333333"]O[/dropcap]ne day, my mum realised that my dad was right, because my mum went to the school to talk with the director on how to handle Faluka’s behaviours, but the director told Mum that Faluka was sent home for unpaid school fees, even though my mum had just given my brother money for school fees.

My mother is very merciful, so she forgave Faluka and he completed his studies, then got a profitable job with mum’s help. When Faluka started earning money, he didn’t think about my mother.

My mother started getting problems, such as diseases. In addition to that, my mother and father were constructing a house, but when the house was finished, Dad told Mum to leave home, due to the conflicts they had had. Mum stayed home for two days until my Dad said he is going to cut Mum into small pieces, and then Mum left. Weighing mum’s mercy, mum decided to go with us and she suffered with us, until she knew how to manage a family without father.

After reaching my uncle’s place with mum, she thought that there will be a shortage of food and plenty of diseases. She made a call to Faluka telling him about these problems, and Faluka told Mum to wait for the money today. Mum waited a month and repeated to call Faluka but he didn’t pick up the phone. Mum regretted giving birth to him.

In addition to that, dad started selling things from home, like selling land and the house. I think if I was older, I would have gone to the police and reported that case.

So, all dads, first think how to handle and manage any problem which has fallen in your family and sit with family members. Children should also behave well, for example, having good respect and behaviours. All mums, if you have a divorce, you should share things like land and other things should be equal in order to avoid conflicts. And also, mums, you should take any case which is harmful to you and report it to the police in order to be solved.

If dads and mum do these things that I have mentioned, they will be a happy family without conflicts, fighting, or abusing each other.

By Waiswa Hamidu